Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
