She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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