Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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