whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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