I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
