Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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