And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
