check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize