Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
