K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
