i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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