After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
