are you so shy because you have an std?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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