you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just puked most of my soul out..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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