go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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