whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
