we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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