Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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