beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
