i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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