Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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