At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
