You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
