Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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