Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
