toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
