Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
