He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
