Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
