I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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