If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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