Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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