i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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