I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize