Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
