You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize