how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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