Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
sex in a hospital.. check
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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