My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
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