Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
