Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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