almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
