Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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