Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
