Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize