that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
