Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
