At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you didnt know i had herpes?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
