Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
