Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
