Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
