Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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