He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
