the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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