I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
