Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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