Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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