I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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